he thought i was a dude.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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