oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How naked do you want me to be?
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