i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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