I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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