How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
