Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just pynch a tree in the face
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we should paint friendship bongs
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
