I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
My vagina just recognized that song.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
