hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
