I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
