i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
