I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Randomize
