TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
