Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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