he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i believe in u and ur pee
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
