he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
