I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
