Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
