How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
