oh god the rape fog is back!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
