so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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