And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
