The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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