dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
