my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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