About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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