We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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