I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
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perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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