She said her name was "party"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize