So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
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Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
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So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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