I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
time to smoke my breakfast
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
