Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
