Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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