I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I cut my penus on the lid.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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