ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
