he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
