I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I want to have your abortion
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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