guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize