Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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