so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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