shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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