OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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