We're like a lot better than the average bears
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
