discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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