So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
