i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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