worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have tasted many bathrooms
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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