It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk is not a location!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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