i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
