Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
