All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
