Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
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I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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