youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
