Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
