So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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