Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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