Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
