morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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