Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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