Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
