I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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